Toxic people are the worst! Their very presence causes even the happiest person to have a lousy day. Call it their superpower.
We all have these sets of people in our lives: people who, through their actions, words, or even presence as aforementioned, bring about the feeling of anxiety, insecurity, inadequacy, or even anger whenever we run into them.
Tara Mackey, the author of Cured by Nature and founder of The Organic Life, wrote on this very topic, comparing toxic people to toxic food, saying, “They distract us from our positive or productive habits. They’ll be the people who discourage you from exercise or make fun of you for wanting to be a better person. They’ll come up with reasons for you to stay in other bad relationships. Toxic people get you stuck in the past and focused on the negative, and in that mentality, you can’t move forward, and you can’t succeed. It is impossible for them to share in your joy.”
Unfortunately, however, some of these toxic people live with us and call themselves our friends, family, brother, sister, husband, wife, etc. So, how then do we cut these toxic people off?
Toxic people are a powerful force to be reckoned with, and even though we lie and pretend to ourselves about it, they hold so much power over us. This is to say you shouldn’t beat yourself when you can’t seem to say no to the toxic people in your life. It’s a gradual process.
Toxic people won’t just say “Okay” when you tell them to “Go away.” Instead, they might even dig their claws in deeper. But do not let this discourage you from your goal. Solution? Be very clear about your intentions with this person. Write it as boldly as you possibly can so they can get this message. And then…
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
Keeping your distance is paramount to your freedom from toxic people. It is crucial. How can you keep your distance?
Whenever they ask you to hang out or get a drink with them, or even want to come over to Netflix and chill, say NO! You might be tempted to say yes, but when that thought comes, think about the pain and hurt they have caused you. Hopefully, that will make you choose the right words.
I came across a tweet by a popular Nigerian influencer, @solomon_buchi, who said, “If you feel that people have always taken advantage of you, you lack boundaries.” He further stated that when people walk over you, you making excuses in the name of “I’m a good person, I love deeply.” No, actually, you just lack boundaries.
Boundaries will give you a sort of protection against toxic people who have no problem using your weakness over you. Respect yourself, be true to your own words. That’s setting your boundaries.
DON’T BE TOO NICE
Fact, toxic people will take advantage of any kindness you show to them. And when you’re overly nice, you’re opening yourself up to more pain. Toxic people strive on your kindness, limit it, but hey, don’t be cruel either. Just stop going out of your way to being overly accommodating.