During this time (Pandemic) and even in regular times, we are around people who make us doubt what we see with our eyes. Sometimes we even doubt our memories. Feelings of doubt, inferiority, anguish, and even depression are some consequences of gaslighting,
Gaslighting is a type of psychological abuse often invisible in many relationships. The one who is abused develops doubt about their memories or even about their own emotional stability. Phrases such as :”you are crazy” or “I never said that” are sure signs there is a manipulator/ gaslighter around. Toxic relationships are everywhere : friends and co -workers and sometimes in family relations. Chances are you are familiar with this human phenomenon.
Origin and Explanation of Gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a type of covert violence characterized by trying to distort another person’s perception of reality to make them doubt themselves. The term ‘Gaslight,’ was used in 1938, in a play, which later advanced in Hollywood the film
focuses on psychological abuse. Its main character is a man who tries to convince his circle of friends and his wife is crazy. To achieve this, he strives to hide objects such as knives or pictures, and even lowers the intensity of the lights. When the woman tries to verbalize it, he denies being the author of the actions, making her believe that she has a problem in her head.
Even if it doesn’t reach that level in real life, ‘gaslighting’ can still occur in a relationship, even if we don’t realize right away.
Gaslighting Signs or Techniques
- Lies compulsively. They are expert liars and, it will surely be that in the end you will doubt the reality of what you have seen and you will end up believing their version.
- These people deny reality even though you have proof. They will repeat it so much that you may well end up accepting their opinion.
- They use reinforcement. Throughout this time they will constantly tell you that you are exaggerating or that you are wrong.
- Project their feelings onto you. If he or she feels inferior, they will project that on to you. Making you feel inferior to them
- They are masters of manipulation. Be careful as, they could end up putting your friends against you. Don’t trust them with your secrets.
- They say one thing then do another. Promises to walk the dog. Says they forgot or it was your turn.
Signs to Detect That You are a Victim of Gaslighting.
Recognizing that gaslighting exists is the first step, but there is more. Therefore, we will offer you the characteristics that work as a common factor and that most victims suffer.
Constantly doubting yourself
You think you are crazy and that your reality is different from that of others; you are likely to feel confused.
You wonder if you are too sensitive. Someone says something off the mark and you wonder if you were too harsh.
You will continually apologize. ” I am Sorry” or “I apologize”
You may get cut off from family and friends. . In extreme gaslighting situation, your entire circle be pitted against you. This may cause you to stay away from your family and friends to avoid explaining what is happening.
How to Get Out of Gaslighting.
Do trust your intuition. If you feel that something is wrong, it is usually Communication, is an essential element of human interaction. If communication starts to fade pay attention. Do not blame yourself. You are as valid as him or her to talk about everything that bothers you without suffering criticism.
Remember that no one can decide how you feel. No one can judge you if your feelings are real or not, they don’t know your heart or mind. So do not ask for forgiveness for being sensitive or for being sad. You are valid and you matter.